I wrote a previous blog post entitled Mountains, where I lamented the difficult future foreseen for Jackson. Unfortunately, the future appears to have arrived. Jackson is currently inpatient in the PICU, receiving treatment that he previously did not require. He has pneumonia, ear infections, and the newest and incredibly unwelcome malady to our family – fluid around the lungs. He is receiving breathing assistance through a BiPAP device that helps push air in, thus inflating the lungs more. It’s a lot like the CPAP* machines that are in high demand with growing American waistlines, except that it is larger and more Darth Vaderish. Ironically, he seems rather content and is resting peacefully. This, at least, gives a parent psychological and emotional respite.

I would also like to again take the opportunity to proclaim that our family is awesome. It takes a village to manage the logistics of two children, one being confined to a hospital, and two demanding (but understanding) jobs. We have that village and are grateful. I often wonder if Luca will ever fully appreciate the level of love and care (sounds better than spoiled) he has. Coney Island with my parents, the farm with Mario, and more. I assume that appreciation will come much later in life because, well, that’s just how kids are, myopic. **

In a shameless and unveiled (not even thinly veiled) attempt at soliciting sympathy, I will say that these experiences are staggeringly stressful. On top of watching your child struggle, losing time with your other child, and (gladly) foregoing any household maintenance, there is no time to attend to yourself or your marriage. Boo on this. And, of course, the business world must go on and missed days are lost days, even when they are rightfully missed. I find that working out (if 30 minutes can be found) and using the Facebook laugh emoji in response to people’s posts about being tired are the best stress relievers.

Here’s to hoping that Jackson recovers quickly and that the next bout of serious illness is far, far away. Maybe until then we can rest, or at least breathe.

*Very unsatisfying that the devices are not referred to as BPAP and CPAP, even more so in written form. The loss of all caps and length equivalence is, again, unsatisfying. Whoever made this decision sucks.

**$10 word alert